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15

Teh Daily Joke Competition

53 comments, 3155 views, posted 2:58 am 03/07/2009 in Competitions by djskitzy
djskitzy has 29492 posts, 3995 threads, 0 points, location: Skegvegas
Bluber Moderator

The rules here are simples....

Post a joke in the comments below.....

The joke that makes me laugh the most each day, gets 100 points. I'll read all the day's jokes before I go to bed, and point accordingly.

Clever and witty jokes with a dab of irony are my faves, but please remember, I'm usually in a merry mood before bed, so silly and stupid might win as well.

Carry on....

Comments

0
12:22 pm 05/07/2009

djskitzy

spykesmon wins yesterdays points... 100 on the way to you now....

Who's gonna be todays winner?

get posting jokes asap

1
2:04 pm 05/07/2009

griffin

What are Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett getting for Christmas?

Patrick Swayze.

0
2:10 pm 05/07/2009

mohit_117

Quote by konemo:
I'm really not worth listening to. I mean, just look at the pointless crap I spend my time writing.

That's what he says?? Or some mod has tampered with his profile??

2
2:45 pm 05/07/2009

djskitzy

Quote by mohit_117:
That's what he says?? Or some mod has tampered with his profile??


tampering with any profile that's not vormids is expressly forbidden, unless illegal content is involved....

0
2:54 pm 05/07/2009

mohit_117

So that he means.. he specifically wants to be ignored...

I neither understand what backroom is aiming at... nor I understand why konemo's taking it personally...

That's mainly because I don't know the meaning of konemo ... tried searching google for it... but guess it's some medical term.

0
3:56 pm 05/07/2009

konemo

it's the mods tampering with it. junior members don't have the option to change that line.. believe me I could come up with stuff that is more original

1
5:04 pm 05/07/2009

Flee

it is oddly accurate though. You are the worst/weakest troll ever to appear here.

But practice makes perfect. keep on keepin' on!

0
8:26 pm 05/07/2009

backroom

Quote by konemo:
backdoor, stay emo and stay gay. stop acting like you have a pair

ohhh...
backdoor.... that's a new one... not!

Everytime you visit us a bridge somewhere is missing it's troll.

...acting like you have a pair...
Ironic coming from you, our resident drive-by dildo.


emo, gay, sperm bank collections...

Now I remember you.
The last time I went in to make my highly sought after donation you were accepting them... orally.

0
8:30 pm 05/07/2009

backroom

Quote by konemo:
believe me I could come up with stuff that is more original

If posts 25 and 26 are evidence...

I highly doubt it.

0
2:14 am 06/07/2009

backroom

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and konemo?

A: One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a
fish.

0
2:16 am 06/07/2009

backroom

Q: What is gross stupidity?


A: 144 konemos in one room.

0
2:25 am 06/07/2009

backroom

It was closing time at the local sports-oriented pub and the only people left there were the barkeep, konemo, and a gorilla standing in the corner. The barkeep looks at konemo and asks, "Wanna see something neat?"

He whistled to the gorilla, the gorilla came over and stood in front of the bar keep. The barkeep lightly tapped the gorrilla on the head with a small plastic bat he kept behind the bar, immediately the gorrilla dropped to his knees and gave the barkeep a blow job.

When he was done, the barkeep looked at konemo and asked, "Wanna try it?"

Konemo said, "Sure, just don't hit me too hard with the bat!"

0
3:03 am 06/07/2009

konemo

All that and not a bit of it original. Pathetic. You spend more time revamping the old insults. Ya lost little girl. Now piss off to your play room with your barbies. Come back when you reach puberty and sprout some tits. Then maybe I'll have my way with ya.

0
3:19 am 06/07/2009

backroom

Just because your last girlfriend had a great rack and a rock hard pecker don't think you are going to find the same thing aroound every corner.

There are not alot of ploofs willing to get the implants for you.

0
3:31 am 06/07/2009

djskitzy

ok vote...

ban konemo for being a dick?

I vote yes.

That's one in favour.... 24 hrs.... go....

0
3:36 am 06/07/2009

backroom

Quote by konemo:
All that and not a bit of it original.

Ok... I admit... I took a shortcut.

I am not as good at creating gay jokes as your mother is.

0
11:03 pm 08/07/2009

spykesmom

Ouch That Hurt


A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants,and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"

To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

0
11:06 pm 08/07/2009

spykesmom

The Magical Frog

one day in a great forest there was a magical frog walking down to the watering hole. this forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in it's life. by chance today a bear was chasing a rabbit to have for its dinner.

the frog called for the two to stop. the frog said "seeing as you are the only two animals i have seen, i will grant you each three wishes. bear you first" the bear thought for a minuite, being the male that he was he said "i wish for all the bears except me to be female"

the rabbit wished for a crash helmut, the bear thought to himself 'stupid rabbit why is he wasting his wishes'

it was the bears next turn "well i wish all the bears in the next forest where female" the rabbit wished for a motorcycle. the bear was stunned 'why didnt the rabbit wish for money to buy a motorbike'

it was the bears last wish "ok i wish for all the bears in the world except me where female" the rabbit laughed and gunned the engine then said "i wish the bear was gay"

0
10:58 pm 14/10/2009

witchbladesexy

A little old lady was driving the wrong way down a one-way street and was stopped by a cop. “Didn’t you see the arrows?” he asked.

“Arrows? I didn’t even see the Indians,” she said.

0
11:08 pm 14/10/2009

boomshanker

I see some shops are already getting stuff in for Christmas!
Christmas is like any other day for me.
I sit down with a fat bird that doesn't gobble any more.

0
11:31 pm 14/10/2009

golfhack

Oh, the irony of it all !

1. The average cost of rehabilitating one seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. One minute later, the cheering suddenly stopped and the crowd watched while both seals were eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. By the time he had come down, eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. A shame, as he had merely been listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. You've guessed it, he opened it and said a fond farewell to his face.

0
11:41 pm 14/10/2009

Ram

Thread resurrection FTW !

Good stuff

This is all the very funny

Konemo is back

2
10:40 pm 16/10/2009

th3n00b

Fizzy.

/I win.

0
10:44 pm 16/10/2009

backroom


That is a good one.

0
10:55 pm 16/10/2009

th3n00b

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