Walmart Discontinues Auto Part Sales To Prevent Car Accidents

4 comments, 284 views, posted 8:29 am 12/09/2019 in News by REALITY
REALITY has 23378 posts, 8940 threads, 809 points, location: Don’t believe what I post - Research what I post.
I want to be the reason you get out of bed in the morning...Even if it is to make sure the door is locked.

BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources confirmed Tuesday.

According to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.

"We can no longer be complicit in an industry that kills over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."

"It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."

Walmart executives said they are beating themselves with a stick to atone for the deaths they've already caused.

"Our consciences will only be clean when we've been mercilessly beaten once for each of the millions of deaths that have been caused by automobiles since Walmart began selling auto parts," said one executive before solemnly beginning to beat himself with a baseball bat.

Extra Points Given by:

Quaektem (10)


1:07 pm 12/09/2019


So don't sell parts, so people have a harder time finding parts, and then drive on parts that aren't in good shape?

Yup, that prevents accidents.....

3:33 pm 12/09/2019


1:52 am 13/09/2019


Good satire.

3:19 am 13/09/2019


Make guns as taboo as cigarrettes, the more unpleasant the less people will want to be showing them off.

I am glad that open carry is a no no in a lot of places.

The guns are the easiest tools of the deranged, the unhinged, the evil, and souless when wanting to commit murder. The man who went on a stabbing spree in Tallahassee yesterday only injured 6, uad he had a gun he would have killed 20. So yeah, make it more difficult to get guns into the hands of people who should not have them. The rest of people who want to have them for sport or defense will not mind the extra restrictions, like specific purchase places, limit on ammo...

We ban stuff after a few people get hurt, Trump is talking about banning ecigs, yet, talk about some sensical gun laws and everybody loses their damned minds. Not everyone should get their hands on weapons that are specifically designed to kill. I get the second amendment, and I am for it, even though I hate guns, but no one needs a damn arsenal.

Add Comment

via teoti, or register to add a comment!