I've drunk several bottles of pretty good, red wine, I've been in a fire station all evening (it's a long story but it raised a lot of money for a good cause) and I really don't like football or footballers but I watched the England vs Sweden match and I was very, very annoyed to see Ibrahimović giving England's Joe Hart a right, arrogant mouthful after scoring. It's a shame the referee didn't see it, the cameras did though, Zlatan. So, the afore-mentioned, 'I would just like to say that:' should read as follows:

(clears throat) 

"Ahahahahahahahahaah - up yours, Ibrahimović you ugly, unsporting pillock. Go and get your girl's haircut seen to as well whilst you're at it. Hahahahahahahahah."

England beat them 3-2, in case you didn't know. Normally, I wouldn't give a tinker's cuss but his behaviour really, really annoyed me.

Thank you, that is all.

Edit, here it is, 

He should have been carded. Knob.