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Equatorial Guinea = fuck no

7 comments, 297 views, posted 2:08 pm 09/08/2012 in WTF! by griffin
griffin has 12949 posts, 1895 threads, 449 points
Teoti Teoti Teoti

Equatorial Guinea, world's most fucked country?

I came across a reference to Equatorial Guinea earlier today, and ended up doing a little research on it. I think it may be seriously fucked up. I mean North Korea kind of fucked up. And that is seriously fucked.

It was a Spanish possession until the late sixties, when it gained independence. That's when things went seriously south.

Francisco MacĂ­as Nguema was elected president in 1968 in the first and only honest election ever held there. The problem with this was the guy was batshit insane. Almost right away he had his electoral opponent executed on trumped up charges. He issued a decree granting him extraordinary powers, and held a referendum on a new constitution that basically made him president of everything everywhere for life. The referendum passed with 99% approval. So yeah, that's not suspicious at all. Insulting the president was made a crime with a 30 year sentence attached to it. He became quite paranoid, and concerned that people may not have considered him very smart, banned the word 'intellectual'. He banned schools. He banned boats, so people could not flee his oppressive regime. Even though many people relied upon fishing, and a good chunk of the country consists of islands. He also mined the only road out of the country. He banned western medicine as being un-African. After a disagreement with the governor of the central bank, he had him killed and took the entire contents of the national treasury to his house in the country. He gave himself cute titles like 'Unique Miracle'. And in a show of christmas spirit, in 1975 he had 150 of his enemies executed by soldiers dressed up as Santa Claus in the national stadium while amplifiers played 'Those were the days' by Mary Hopkins. I mean get the fuck outta here. The whole time, it was believed that he was out of his face on various drugs, mostly bhang and iboga. Oh, and he murdered upwards of 80,000 people. In a country of maybe 600,000.

So in 1979 his nephew Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo begins to get really concerned because his uncle has started taking out various family members. Fearing that he is on the hit list, he seizes power in a bloody coup. Macias was executed in September 1979. Teddy boy has ruled ever since, getting re-elected in every election with 98% of the vote. One precinct in 2003 reported him getting 103% of the vote, so he must be pretty fucking popular. Teddy ain't as brutal as his uncle but make no mistake he's a real scumbag. He has that country in an iron grip, and life there is uber shitty for most of the population, who live on less than $2 a day. Good news for Teddy though, Equatorial Guinea has oil, and has started exporting it. This has not improved things for the people at all, because everything is owned by Teddy and his cronies. Forbes for instance, estimates that Teddy has squirreled away about $700,000,000 in US accounts. Nice nest egg. Not only is he rich, but Teddy is also a god (his uncle also declared himself a god). Nice work if you can get it. Teddy has declared that he has the power of life and death over his people, and his enemies (real or imagined) continue to disappear, get tortured and executed.

Teddy was called a 'good friend' by Condoleeza rice, and he and his bitch missus have met with the Obamas.


You motherfuckers. Who doesn't hate politicians?

Wiki states: "In 2003, Obiang told his citizenry that he felt compelled to take full control of the national treasury in order to prevent civil servants from being tempted to engage in corrupt practices. To avoid this corruption, Obiang deposited more than half a billion dollars into accounts controlled by Obiang and his family at Riggs Bank in Washington, D.C., leading a U.S. federal court to fine the bank $16 million. Later scrutiny in 2004, from an American Senate investigation found that Washington-based Riggs bank took $300 million on behalf of Obiang from Exxon Mobil and Amerada Hess." You just can't make this shit up, no one would believe it.

A veritable clusterfuck of misery and oppression and corruption and robbery and oh fucking hell isn't this depressing? Here's a nice song to cheer you up.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equatorial_Guinea
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teodoro_Obiang_Nguema_Mbasogo
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francisco_Mac%C3%ADas_Nguema

Extra Points Given by:

Edorph (3), bradpitt (10), waints (5), Moody (10)

Comments

3
2:19 pm 09/08/2012

z0phi3l

There's got to be more than oil in that country for us to be "friendly" with them

1
2:24 pm 09/08/2012

griffin

Teddy is seriously fucked. The US ambassador was accused of witchcraft in 1993, and the US embassy is now closed.

2
6:04 pm 09/08/2012

Flee

Quote by griffin:
This has not improved things for the people at all, because everything is owned by Teddy and his cronies.


It kinda funny. Chavez rose to power due to this reason. A bunch of cronies making millions off oil while the country lives in poverty. The man is an enemy of the USA for not being a oil bitch, yet this madman is buddy buddy.

its all about the black gold.

1
6:17 pm 09/08/2012

bradpitt

hey Obiang's got Obama dolls to play with!

2
9:40 pm 09/08/2012

djskitzy

If I was ever a politician, I'd have all mirrors removed, as I'd never be able to look myself in the eye....

1
9:55 pm 09/08/2012

Quaektem

Quote by griffin:
Teddy is seriously fucked. The US ambassador was accused of witchcraft in 1993, and the US embassy is now closed.



I swear that I was not the US Ambassador to Equatorial Guinea in 1993!

1
9:56 pm 09/08/2012

Quaektem

Quote by djskitzy:
If I was ever a politician, I'd have all mirrors removed, as I'd never be able to look myself in the eye....



Most have to have their mirrors rectally inserted to look themselves in the eye anyway.

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